Author Dossier #13: Derek Phillips

The Author Dossier series reaches the sixth prime number! 

Derek Phillips’ “Poem Stolen from a Fifth Grader’s Essay about Why Endangered Animals Should Be Protected” is found only and exclusively and forever in Artifice Issue 1.

Name: D with a Dollar Sign and Two Exclamation Points

Other Known or Desired Aliases: Most of my nicknames have to do with me either being broke or having too much money

Sidekick: Discrimination

Arch-Nemesis: Haters, snitches, scallywags and sucka MCs

Lair: The bottom of the barrel

Endangered Species In Most Need of Protection: Lil Wayne

Endangered Species We Could Really Do Without: Come on man, I wrote a poem about it

Besides 5th Graders He Would Also Like to Appropriate Poetic Work By: I guess it’s about time for someone to put the term ‘parking lot pimping’ to good use

Preferred Mode of Transportation for the Post-Apocalypse: Gold jet ski

Summation of Aesthetic Philosophy: Get Money

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