The Author Dossier series reaches the sixth prime number!
Derek Phillips’ “Poem Stolen from a Fifth Grader’s Essay about Why Endangered Animals Should Be Protected” is found only and exclusively and forever in Artifice Issue 1.
Name: D with a Dollar Sign and Two Exclamation Points
Other Known or Desired Aliases: Most of my nicknames have to do with me either being broke or having too much money
Arch-Nemesis: Haters, snitches, scallywags and sucka MCs
Lair: The bottom of the barrel
Endangered Species In Most Need of Protection: Lil Wayne
Endangered Species We Could Really Do Without: Come on man, I wrote a poem about it
Besides 5th Graders He Would Also Like to Appropriate Poetic Work By: I guess it’s about time for someone to put the term ‘parking lot pimping’ to good use
Preferred Mode of Transportation for the Post-Apocalypse: Gold jet ski
Summation of Aesthetic Philosophy: Get Money