Author Dossier #3: Susan Slaviero

Susan Slaviero’s pieces “Phenomena of Probability” and “Pandora’s Robot” can be found in Artifice Issue 1


Name: Susan Slaviero

Other known or Desired Aliases: My roller derby name is Iris Audit.

Secret Identity: Mistress of Useless Esoterica

Arch-Nemesis: Pickling in a barrel in the backyard

Lair: Eye of the Midwestern Storm

If She Believed in Reincarnation She Would be the Reincarnation of: Frida Kahlo’s Eyebrows.  (Luckily, I don’t really believe in reincarnation; however, if I did I would probably be the spiritual equivalent of a nematode, or perhaps a chanterelle mushroom. Please don’t eat me.)  

Fights Crime By: Unraveling villains’ cardigans when their backs are turned, use of a slingshot that fires poison cupcakes into an unruly crowd, hurling various artifacts liberated from the Smithsonian

Known Weaknesses: Remaindered books, tots of bourbon in my morning tea, alliteration, fluffy bedroom slippers that resemble woodland creatures  

Only Fears: Olives that look like eyeballs, beestings, used bathwater, being haunted by ectoplasmic terrors composed entirely of high fructose corn syrup

Summation of Aesthetic Philosophy: I like those posters of kittens that say “Hang in There.” 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s