Author Dossier 1: Jen Gann

Jen Gann is the voice and mind behind Danger Crops, a piece which will appear in Artifice 4. She is also the first in our new series of author dossiers!

Here are her thoughts on cult-leader-kilts and cockroaches.

***

1. Preferred type of apocalypse (plague, nuclear holocaust, ice age, etc.): 

Nuclear holocaust?  I’m not really sure what this entails, but it seems cleaner than a plague,  warmer than an ice age.

2. Preferred post-apocalyptic city: 

San Francisco, probably, because the weather is mild.  I feel like New York is all made of scabs and they’d open up during the apocalypse.  I’ve never lived in any other cities, so I can’t imagine how they’d be.

3. Preferred anti-zombie weapon: 

I’m hoping the zombies are pretty weak and that I can kick them over like wet cardboard.  I have bad aim, so I don’t really think I should have a weapon.

4. Top five necessities to bring to the fallout shelter: 

Water, coffee, my glasses, a trashcan of chickpeas, my computer.

5. Describe said fallout shelter: 

I’m imagining the inside of Jeanie’s bottle: some comfy pillows, blankets, and a fridge.

6. Who would be in your post-apocalyptic gang?

Tag Savage and Andi Mudd.  They’d both be terrible at surviving, but they are my two favorite people and I love them.  I mean, maybe they would surprise me, but I just think I’d be the one acting like an animal, getting my hands dirty.  They’d provide a lot of witty banter and insight, but meanwhile, I’d be out killing for food.  Actually, Tag Savage is much stronger than I am, physically, so he could lift stuff… and Andi Mudd is fairly brutal, when it comes down to it.  Plus, she knows how to take care of rabbits, so we could find some and breed them and have that as a side thing.  Ultimately, I’m the brawn and they’re the brains, but we all have survival skills to bring to the gang.  What I’m really getting at is that I need these two people to survive the ordinary world, so I’m pretty sure I need them to survive the post-apocalyptic world.

7. You’re the new charismatic leader of a cult of your choosing. What do you wear to your first meeting? 

A fleece blanket wrapped around my waist.  I work with this blanket wrapped around my waist every day.  For a “summer style” I fold it into a sort of wrap mini skirt.  I get really sweaty underneath but I can’t work without it.  The fleece is black on one side and on the other, there’s a sunset and a horse running across.  I really wish I were being absurd or sarcastic here but I’m just being truthful.

8. Spirit guide?

No, thank you.

9. If you had to eat another author (in Artifice 4 or otherwise) who would it be and why? 

I would eat Colin Winnette (colinwinnette.com).  I think he works out a lot and eats healthily, so that’s probably some quality meat on those bones.

10. A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off. What does this mean to you (spiritually, existentially, etc)?

Not to be completely annoying, but I feel a little bit bad for cockroaches.  I don’t want one crawling on me, but I also don’t totally mind seeing them.  So I guess this idea of a cockroach living without its head makes me feel a little sad.

One response to “Author Dossier 1: Jen Gann

  1. not if i eat you firzt.

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